


is there a lifetime waiting for us?

by ethanramsey



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novels)
Genre: Angst, F/M, I'm Sorry, MC's chaotic toast, Rafael and Sora's Wedding, They don't even hug, very angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:08:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24857386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethanramsey/pseuds/ethanramsey
Summary: Casey toasts to Rafael and Sora's wedding.
Relationships: Rafael Aveiro/Main Character (Open Heart), Rafael Aveiro/Sora
Kudos: 8





	is there a lifetime waiting for us?

**Author's Note:**

> [here](https://oliveiraveiro.tumblr.com/post/620635925847965696/i-cant-help-but-to-think-about-angst-ft-rafael-x) is a more detailed summary of this fic 🤣 inspired by the song [lifetime by ben&ben.](https://open.spotify.com/track/3X9c4tBzSdGhlO4Fx3WYgW?si=1MM_j2BRQ5en_Cru3iHCuQ) I suggest listening to the song first to get right into the weepy mood 😔 I can't promise no rafael stan has been harmed in the making of this one.

Weddings.

It’s not really something that Casey thinks about. On marriage, sure, she spared a thought or two. She’d asked Dr. Ramsey about it a few times, and the older doctor’s pessimistic perspective has undeniably influenced hers. So…weddings? That’s just not something that takes up her mind. Not even when she was a young girl, and definitely not now that she’s focused on getting to the height of her career.

Doctors married to their jobs, like her, are just not the type to walk down the aisle. But now that the wedding season is here, as Sienna says, it’s all that has been on her mind lately.

 _Do I want to settle down?_ Casey wonders as she watched him at the altar, watching his bride walk down the aisle. Jealousy burns in her chest even more, not because of the lady in white but with seeing how absolutely happy he is.

Him; Rafael. The one that got away. The so-called love of her life who is now marrying the love of his.

Everyone was watching Sora and probably thinking about how beautiful she is. Well, everyone but her. Instead, Casey’s eyes are subtly on Rafael, thinking about their failed relationship, thinking about whether she would someday go to a wedding she’d called her own.

She didn’t think she was to settle down. However, she also didn’t think she’d be the type to attend her ex’s wedding, but here she is.

When she finally looked at the overjoyed bride, she thinks about whether she wants a long column dress just like hers. Ever since she let herself imagine weddings, all she sees is a bride in a ball gown, walking down the aisle just like a princess. But seeing Sora with her dress that hugged her curves perfectly, she realizes that she needs to put more thought into it.

Then, she wonders if she’d be another bride in white. Would her wedding be cooler with a nontraditional color? What if she also doesn’t wear a dress, and instead don a suit? That would be such a memorable wedding march. Before she can also fantasize walking down the aisle in black, Sora reaches the altar, and she feels like someone cuts her heart open as wide as the smile on Rafael’s face when she sees just how happy the two of them are.

She observed and assisted hours-long surgeries, but she could swear the wedding ceremony felt like it lasted longer than any of them. She wonders if it’s because of a few delays, or the short thirty minutes really drags on forever when you’re watching the person you love marry someone else.

The wedding party on the other hand has thankfully been a blur. Well… not exactly, but with all the champagne Casey consumed, she was drinking a glass or three, had some delicious food, and the next thing she knew she was in front of everyone making her toast.

Bryce, the best man, had been really worried she’d embarrass herself up front. She had a script, but he doubted she could still read at her state. But thankfully her natural charm worked for her so far, and she had the audience and the couple eating at the palm of her hand.

She playfully embarrassed Rafael as his best friend should, nodded at how lucky he is Sora came back to Boston after so many years, and went on about how the two of them are so beautiful together.

Just hit it right home, Bryce encourages Casey in his mind. She just needs to say something sappy that will get the audience clapping and crying, and her toast will be another one hell of a speech.

But then, Casey clears her throat, folding her notes and putting it away. Bryce can only widen his eyes in panic as she continues speaking.

“I’m gonna be honest. I stand by everything that I have said about Raf and Sora tonight, but I’m not really one to think about weddings and marriages. As my boss once said wisely—he’s not here tonight so thank god—marriage doesn’t entirely make sense as an institution. As a partnership, maybe, but there’s no biological basis for soulmates. In other words, again, it does not make sense.” Casey continues. There are still a few laughs from the audience, but most have their eyebrows furrowed.

“And with us being logical beings, everything has to make sense, right? You guys seeing the dilemma here?” A few more chuckles, some of it now a little awkward as well. “I quote, ‘for instance, how are you supposed to know you have met the right person?’ And in life, that’s the biggest question, isn’t it? Even if you don’t want to settle down or tie the knot, you’re always thinking, how do I know that the person I’m with is my match? How are you supposed to know that the person you’re spending time with, the person you’re taking out on dates, the person you’re waking up to every morning, is the right one for you?” Casey pauses for effect.

“This two right here is very special not only because tonight is their night but because the two of them…” she trails off, voice almost breaking as her eyes start to shine. “The two of them are very sure about each other. I envy Rafael because the moment Sora came back to Boston, he _knew_ he wanted her. That he wanted to be with her. No pesky questioning whether Sora is the one for him, because she is the woman of his dreams. As soon as he could pursue her, love her again, make her happy, he grabbed the chance and went all in without any hesitation.”

The sensitive people in the audience are once again crying. That includes Sienna and Danny, and even Aurora if tearing up counts. But their tears are not because of Casey’s words, unlike the rest, but because of the pain behind them.

“And Sora. We’re not…I’m a much closer friend of Rafael than I am of you, but I know just how sure you are with him too. Rafael is…” Casey glances at him, needing to wipe the corner of her eyes. “To say that Rafael is an amazing guy is an understatement, one that should be illegal because he is literally a superhero. He saved and saves countless of lives, including mine, and everyone who has him in their lives is extremely lucky and probably blessed by the gods.” More laughter through tears.

“Rafael’s heart is as big as he is. And we’re all looking at his biceps, aren’t we? He’s a sweet, beautiful, strong and brave guy who believes in doing good for the community and the world. He grounds the people around him, and you can always count on him to keep things real. He’s honest, genuine, but he’s not one to hurt you or your feelings. He’s the refreshing breath of fresh air that invigorates you, sustains you, inspires you to keep on going because the world is beautiful and so are you. He’s…god, forgive me, but he’s the _most amazing guy_. You… you can’t not love him. Anyone would choose to marry him, and it doesn’t even matter if they’ll marry in a church or in a beach wearing a white or black dress or a ball gown or a suit. Rafael is the best person you could choose to spend a lifetime with. He’s just… he’s the right person.”

Just as Casey finishes, a single tear streams down her face, and she weakly smiles so the hurt she’s feeling is not too obvious, like that is still possible. It’s dead silent, and Sora’s glancing at Rafael with a displeased look on her face. Rafael, however, only has his eyes on Casey, lips pursed as he struggles to keep them from shaking, tears in his eyes. The audience is quiet, collectively holding their breaths, wondering what is happening and what will happen. Casey’s friends are gulping their drinks at the secondhand pain and embarrassment. Might as well just specifically yell out to the venue that she loves and is in love with Rafael.

“He’s…he’s the right, perfect person for her.” she tries to add. “I know Raf with all my heart, I’m sure no one’s doubting that now, and it’s a fact that Sora couldn’t have made a better choice for her groom. So please, everyone, join me for a toast.” She finally raises her glass. Her voice shakes, but thankfully there are clatter of glass and utensils to hide it. Bryce was quick to raise his glass, urging everyone at his table near the stage to do the same. It was the least he could do, and he hated it that he couldn’t do more, not just for Rafael but especially for Casey.

Rafael wipes the tears from his eyes before he takes his glass. His eyes are on her still, but Casey is now doing her best to avoid his gaze, how she absolutely made a fool of herself finally sinking in.

“To the newlyweds!” she cheers, and the crowd follows suit. She downs her drink quickly, unable to stop herself from watching the bride and groom toast their glasses before sipping their own drinks at the corner of her eyes, and the now unhappy look on their faces.

She gets off the stage and walks by her table first to grab her purse. She knows some people must be watching her, so she sits down, takes Jackie’s glass, and finishes it again in one go. Her friends are awfully quiet and looking at her with so much pity that irritated her and made her feel miserable at the same time. She spends a few more minutes seated, ‘before finally having the guts to excuse herself to the restroom.

She gives Jackie a quick look to tell her not to follow her, but the look in her face just screamed that she badly needs someone right now.

Casey headed to one of the stalls in the women’s room and quickly closed the door behind her. As soon as she lets out her first sob, she collapses to her feet, now incapable of keeping all her emotions and feelings to herself.

It hurts so, so much. She wants him, she always has, and it always hurt. But this time, now that he’s married, the torment is tenfold. It feels as though he is stabbing her heart, and she feels the shooting pain from her chest all the way to her fingertips. Each harsh sob makes her head ache, and she’s crying so violently that her vision blurs until she’s unable to see.

Casey struggles with her breathing, and she attempts to look for the handy pack of tissues in her purse. She finds it after three uneven sobs, and she takes a sheet to wipe her face. Tears, snot, sweat, she’s not even sure what it was anymore. She takes a deep shaky breath, loudly exhaling, trying her best to repeat the process.

It could have been her walking down the aisle, had she fought to be his. He was such a sight waiting for his bride at the altar. If she knew just how much she would badly want to be the one he was anticipating to join him up front, she would have given in to what she wanted. All that her buried feelings did was grow, and now it exploded on her and ruined her in the worst way possible.

What hurts the most is that she had her chance. Maybe he was never truly hers, but the two of them had shared something special before.

Was it just a wrong time? Because Casey knows Rafael could have been the one for her. That was a question she always asked herself, one that she never doubted the answer to. And she may be different from Sora in many ways, but she made him happy once. She’s certain she can gladly spend her life doing so, if he would only give her another chance.

Thinking about all of that feels like a firm, hard grip in her heart. To think that it’s possible the two of them can be the one sharing a lifetime hurts instead of comforting her. It was easier to think they were never meant to be. It was easier not to think about Rafael’s own tears when she was baring her soul out to the wedding guests.

The sound of someone walking in distracts her from her thoughts. She swallows, holding her breath, hoping the stranger won’t bother investigating her stall.

“Casey? It’s me.” Jackie calls out. “I was just wondering if you needed someone. Or wanted a hug, or just silence. Or I could also leave, and we can never speak of this again.”

Despite herself Casey smiles. “You offering me a hug? It’s that bad, huh?”

“I don’t think you want my honesty right now. I _will_ hurt your feelings.” Jackie answers, and they share a small laugh.

“I look like shit, Jackie.”

“You’re a doctor who sometimes work 24-hour shifts, you look like shit most of the time. And, we’re already roommates.”

Casey grins to herself, getting up on her feet. She opens the door slowly, immediately meeting Jackie. She’s very thankful the other woman almost forcefully grabs her into a tight hug, and she lets herself cry just a little bit more. She already bawled her eyes out, a few more minutes won’t hurt.

“You know I love you, don’t you, Valentine? We all do. So much. If we can do anything, anything at all, just let us know.”

“I love you too, Jackie. I’ll take you guys up on that, but right now I just have to do my makeup again so I can get the hell out of here.”

Casey urged everyone else to stay, including Jackie, reminding them that tonight is Rafael’s night and they can comfort her tomorrow with junk foods and movies. After saying her goodbyes and doing her best to avoid the newlyweds, she starts her way out of the venue.

But of course, with her luck, not without Rafael catching her. “Casey…” he starts.

“Rafael,” she tries her best to smile. “I was just looking for you. I’ve had too many glasses of champagne too quickly and the consequence is me needing to leave the party early. Enjoy the rest of—”

“You weren’t looking for me, Casey. You’re barely ten steps away from the exit.” he frowns at her.

“Well…uh…I’m really not feeling great, Raf. I should get going.” Casey averts her eyes from his, scratching her temple.

“Any other feelings you’re keeping from me, Case? Tonight is just a good night to share them, isn’t it?”

She’s unable to keep herself from grimacing. “I…that’s…I know it’s not fair. It doesn’t do any good now but I’m sorry, Raf. I didn’t mean to…complicate things.”

“Well, you have, Casey. Whether you meant to or not. It’s not…” he trails off, voice breaking, not liking how rude he is being, especially to her. “I’m not mad about the speech. I’m mad that you waited until it’s too late to tell me you can’t not love me.”

Casey blushes furiously. She did _not_ say that. She was speaking in general, and she _totally_ wasn’t speaking about herself and her specific feelings. She already regrets leaving the restroom. She should’ve just locked herself inside and never left until everyone did. Food and drinks are already covered, she probably could have lasted the whole night.

“Just tell me, Casey, honestly. Did you mean every word?” Rafael stares at her, an intense fire burning behind his eyes.

“What difference does it make? You’re already married, and I just toasted to your wedding, Rafael. Whether I meant it or not should be the least of your worries.”

The guilty look that replaced the intensity in his eyes told Casey she said the right words. The ten steps away from the exit might soon be nine, eight, and then she’s out of the door and out of his life. Just keep it together until then, she encouraged herself. She’s aware she already cried a lifetime’s worth tonight.

“If I just knew, Casey…” he swallows the forming lump in his throat. “If I knew—”

“Let’s not, please. Let’s stop this. Whatever this is starting to be.” Once again she feels the pricking tears.

Rafael wants to hold her face, to wipe her tears away, to pull her into a long, tight hug and never let go. Not again, not ever.

But he can’t. Not without complicating things even more. Not without ruining the rest of his life.

Casey knows that. While a small part of her hoped and longed for his embrace, again, his face told her all she needed to know. This is probably the last time he would look at her with such emotion, and she promised herself that this will also be the last time she lets herself be vulnerable before him.

She harmlessly rests a hand on his arm, lightly squeezing. She gazes up into his eyes sincerely and answers his question, although only to herself. _All this time I have been yours._

“Goodbye, Raf.” Casey whispers very softly, that at first she’s not even sure if she actually uttered the words. “I hope for your happiness, I really do.” She gives him another sad smile, before finally walking away and walking out of the door.

He doesn’t see the tears in her eyes, but Rafael knew Casey is also walking out of his life for good. It took all of his strength to continue through the night without breaking down.

He finds his way through the crowd back into the arms of his bride. His wife, the so-called love of his life.

But as he starts thinking about the forever they will share together, he can’t help but imagine the lifetime waiting for him and Casey in a world where he was hers.

_If only you’d been mine._


End file.
